October 23, 2009

Childhood beliefs

Kids! You gotta love their innocence and unexpected humor.

Here’s a conversation my sister shared with me, between her, and my nephew, Nicky. He’ll be three in a couple weeks.

Nicky: I want to go to Las Vegas. I want to go on an airplane.
Amy: I know honey, but I don’t have any money.
Nicky: So? Go buy some.

If only it were that easy.

It got me thinking about the crazy things I believed as a kid, such as:

  • If I swallowed gum it would build up in my stomach eventually causing me to be stuffed with gum.

  • If I swallowed watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in my stomach.

  • I could fall through sewer grates. I was afraid of being eaten by rats.

  • Wontons in wonton soup were dragon eyeballs – thanks, grandpa.

  • That Care Bears really lived in the clouds, I’d always look up to try to spot them.

  • That thunder occurred when angels were bowling.

  • When the news showed photos of most wanted or criminals on the loose, I thought they were specifically coming for me.

  • Oral sex was talking about it out loud.

My favorites that I recall my brother and sister believing:

Mike thought that barf bags on airplanes were for popcorn, and Amy thought that the flight attendants were doing magic tricks when they went over safety precautions.

Funny stuff.

Who knew there was an entire site dedicated to I used to believe? But, there is a site for everything, now, isn't there? A few of my beliefs made the most common list. Check it out, it’s good for a laugh.

I never heard this one, but how brilliant is this? Ice cream vans only play music when they've run out of ice cream.

What did you believe?

No comments: