365 Days Later

Dear Mom,

It's hard to believe, but it's been a year since you've been gone. Some days definitely sting worse than others, but we've made it - we've stuck together and stood strong. I think you'd be proud. I know I am. You taught us a lot, and I thought I was prepared for you to go, but there is just no way to learn to live without someone. Day by day, we get through the best we can. Boy! I'll tell you, though, it's tough to grieve and piece together someone's life after death. If I only knew, I would've asked more questions, been more patient and took more time to listen to specific details. Like who was your first boyfriend? Was it the first boy you kissed or your first relationship? Terrible security question... or, maybe, it was perfect.

I'm sad that you never got to meet Lex or that you won't see Addy and Nick grow. This past year with them has been so special. I wish Mike and Amy could've gotten as much time with you as I did. I try not to be angry for the years of memories that were robbed from us; instead, I try to be appreciative of those I cherish. I know how fortunate I am that you were part of my wedding. Mike and Amy aren't so lucky. That's a gift they will never know, if they choose to marry. I hate that you won't be part of birthdays, holidays and special occasions.

It may seem weird, but I feel some sense of accomplishment for surviving the last year. Day in and day out we faced the challenges and emotions of losing you. There has been much frustration and many tears. The hardest part is filling that void left in my heart. Fond memories, old stories and photos help ease the emptiness, but I doubt it will ever fade.

I wish we had more time.

I love you,

Kellee