Someone call a medic! Because you might just need one at Heart Attack Grill. Sure, the place is gimmicky and you need a sense of humor to enjoy the experience. But you'll never leave hungry and I bet you'll find a pretty tasty burger and fries. I did.
Frank is taking part in a weightloss challenge at work. A few co-workers decided Heart Attack Grill was a good choice for extreme gluttony. They set a date to bulk up before weigh-in (it's a strategy that all the teams use to enhance the most weight lost). My brother and I tagged along thinking it would likely be a one time thing.
We didn't realize it, but the restaurant is cash only, they have ATM's with a small 75 cent fee. Which was too much for us, so we walked over to 7-11 (free for us). Back at the Heart Attack Grill we met Frank's co-workers, and requested a table for six. Before you're seated you must be prepped with a hospital gown. They have a greater size selection than actual hospitals.
The moment I sat, I was struck with the notion that diet coke or iced tea would not be an option. It was true, choices are limited to butterfat shakes, bottled coke, beer or bottle water. We were told the only reason water is offered is because of the butterfat shakes. One chocolate shake was ordered - I hear there is a full stick of butter in each one, I'm unsure if that includes the pat of butter served on top - and he later had a coke, but it was waters for the rest of us.
Orders are taken via iPhone. Our group ordered three triple bypasses with bacon, and three single bypasses two with bacon and one without. I guess you could say I tried to keep it light. Flatliner fries were also shared.
While we waited for our meaty meals, our nurse offered to issue a pain treatment. Three of the guys partook. Paddled spankings were doled out. It's like going to the hofbrauhaus, just without the jager. It set off a trend and soon other diners were waiting for their turn.
Soon after our meatnormous burgers were served.
Yes, that's three patties and 15 slices of bacon with cheese, grilled onions and tomato.
My burger looks petite in comparison but it would satisfy most appetites just fine. The fries are fried in lard and the flavor brought me back to my childhood.
The burgers and fries exceeded my expectations. It's not the best burger ever, but it's pretty darn tasty, especially considering these are well done burgers. It would be nice if you had input on the temperature. Our nurse had attitude - as she should, but she was also attentive. Videos and great tunes from the 70's, 80's and 90's kept us entertained.
All, but one was part of the clean plate club. We paid our share for services rendered and each made it out alive.